Something that I need to say...

Normally I try very hard not to complain about the way my life has taken shape because I do know that there are others out there that have it worse off then I do but there are a few things that you have to understand about me. By the time I was 18 years old I had burried both of my parents, all 4 grandparents, a list of aunts and uncles and some very close friends. Even since then I have laid to rest more friends, a brother, 2 more aunts and the list will go on. I have worked full time since I was 15 years old, I have drank myself to stupidity and back several times, I used to fight on a regular basis and most of the time for no good reason. My life has been hard growing up and some things that happened to me as a kid still like to leave their impression on me. But through all of it I have stood tall held strong and pushed my way through all of it. However, there comes a time when you start to wonder, after being through all of that, will I ever be happy? My faith on that subject was growing very lean especially with the last person I tried to make a relationship with. There are very few things in my life that I actually regret, but those 4 months with her I do. Last fall things started to get harder for me, I felt lonely more and more with everyday, I was losing enthusiam for life and just everything in general sucked. One day that all changed with a hopeful messgae. I met Heather. From the very first day I knew I wanted her to be a part of my life and that was only reenforced ten fold when we had our first date. From that first night we just started spending more and more time together, talking constantly and it was so perfect! I had never been able to talk to a person like that so openly and about such a wide range of things. I fell in love, I fell fast, I fell hard and I fell completely and I don't regret it one bit. I took a chance with my heart that night of the confession and it has paid off greater than I could of ever imagined. With every day that passes I find myself loving Heather more and more and its a deeper love, a love that will last til the end of my days. The only thing that bothers me is that I really feel like the world does not give her enough credit. Heather is truly an amazing person. She is incredibly smart, she is a college graduate and she is pursuing her masters degree. I am so proud of her for that and I hope she realizes it, I try to do everything I can to support her and get her through it. She is hysterically funny, no one has ever been able to make me laugh about her. She is just as foolish as I am and as quirky. I love her so much for her humor. Her one-liners are the best! She is so caring and compassionate. She takes care of me, spoils me to no end. She has done everything she possibly can to try and make my life easier and has pushed me to follow my dreams and she's done everything in her ability to make those dreams come true and I can't thank her enough for that. I appreciate her so much that no matter what I say, write or do it will never be enough. She also cares about her kids. She's an English teacher and every night I hear stories about her kids and how things are going in classes and you can tell that she geniunely cares and wants to make a difference and really wants kids to learn. She is also really awesome around the house. She puts in a 110% effort all the time helping with the dishes and laundry and just everything that gets done. What we have is something that most couples dont and its a true partnership and I value that. Heather is also incredibly beautiful. She feels really bad about herself right now cause she's put on a little weight (we both have) but to me she is still that "cute girl" that I fell in love with and she still turns me on and just makes my heart flutter every time I look at her. She is more creative than she likes to think she is too...she can do origami, write one helluva hate poem and she has pretty neat ideas about things around the house. I love her...I love everything about her and I love what she has done for me as well. I know there is no such thing as a perfect person..but ya know what? she is perfect for me. I could keep this list going on for hours and hours about all the amazing things about her but my hands would fall off from all the typing. We have spent an incredible 5 months together and I still am amazed and thrilled by her everyday. I just hope she realizes how much I do love her and appreciate everything she has done for me. She made a bear happy again. I only hope that I can make her as happy. I know most people (including her) are going to think this because she is my fiance and because I'm biased...well maybe I am a little biased but I knew from day one, from the very first time we instant messaged each other that Heather was something special and ya know what? I was right.